Dear P...

In a couple of hours, when I will be sound asleep, you will wake up.

And probably, you will remember. That 5 years ago, a little baby boy came out of your body. But you couldn't be his mother. Too early, not yet married, not the right "father".

Your destiny is to live with this difficult decision for the rest of your life. Nishal's destiny is to love and be loved by parents from another country.

I am quite sure that today you will remember this little boy. And wonder if he is happy, how tall he is, what he looks like, what is his life.... Nishal must be growing in your heart. Maybe you will pray for him, with a chapelet in your hands, your heart full of sorrow.

If only you could know how happy and wonderful is my son.... If only I could tell you how much I am grateful, and share with you my happiness....

In a few hours, Nishal will wake up, rush in our bed for a birthday hug, eat a warm brioche for breakfast, tear up the wrappers of his gifts and blow his 5 candles ! Like any other 5 year old kid...

But we will also light a candle and pray for you P, Nishal will have the same chapelet as you in his hands.... We will talk about you, I will tell him again his story, and tell him for the first time that 3 months, 1 year after his birth you were still concerned about him.

I will try and make him understand that you had no choice, that abandonning does not mean "I don't love you".

May you be happy, may you have your own children, may you be proud to have given Nishal a second chance...

You are in our thoughts & prayers. And I am sure Nishal will be in yours...