Ce 23 mai, ma mère a quitté notre monde pour rejoindre au de-delà celui de mon père et de tous ses frères et soeurs. J'ai pu l'accompagner jusqu'au bout comme je le souhaitais, prendre le temps d'organiser les obsèques que je souhaitais (franco américano indiens !) et je fus formidablement entourée par ma famille et mes amis.
Je tenais à rendre hommage à la vie exceptionnelle de ma mère, de mes parents, de leur couple international et interracial, à leur choix de vies à leur valeurs, dans ce long texte que j'avais lu lors de la messe.
When I sadly shared the news of the passing away of my mom, my dear friend Ashok from Delhi told me those wise words : “When you lose a parent, you lose a part of you, whatever is your age.” This is so true. I feel like an orphan at times, so strange at 53.
Well, instead of focusing on this sense of loss and
emptiness, I try to focus on the positive, all she taught me and the example
she was by leading her incredible life.
Yes, her life was quite an adventure : born in Burma,
the youngest of seven siblings. Her dad was a well-known and respected doctor
who died a few years after my mom’s birth, they had a happy life, 7 houses, one
for each child ! And suddenly war, when my mom was 6, they had to flee Burma,
leaving everything behind apart the jewelry. They walked on foot through the
jungle, except my mom and my grandmother who were carried in palanquins.
They finally made it in the refugee camps of Kolkata,
but my grandma passed away of malaria and one of my mom’s sister Laxmi, died of
typhoid. Their grandmother brought them back to Kerala where she took care of
them. They all got good education, despite their poor condition. When her
grandmother passed away, Padma the eldest sister took care of them. My mom got
a degree as a teacher and started teaching English in Chennai.
Her life fully changed the day she won an exchange
program with a school in Chehalis, Washington state, USA. She arrived there in
winter, wearing sandals and a saree, to what would be the most amazing years of
her life. She did what she liked best, teaching, with all the modern facilities
that existed in the USA, lived with an old lady Mrs. Bayne that treated her as
her own daughter. She adored the clean and progressive USA, such a contrast
with her modest childhood in India.
She led a rather free and independent life and would
travel often alone back to India to visit her family. Travel by boat and train
of course, and through France most of the time. During one of her trips between
Le Havre and Paris, destiny made her meet the love of her life, my dad, on the platform
of Gare Montparnasse…
They corresponded after that during years, sharing
culture, love, doubts and hope and met whenever they can which was not very
often. My Indian family was nervous about this interracial marriage but they
finally did settle together in Toronto and got married. They lost a first baby
by miscarriage, and decided to move to France to “take good care of the next
baby”. Which they obviously did since I am here alive and kicking. The pill
Distilben that my mother took during her pregnancy thinking it could prevent miscarriages brought
me to my destiny, adopting the most wonderful kids of the galaxy and filling my
life with passion for adoption.
Back to my mom : they decided to stay in France, my
mother stopped working to raise me, with a great nostalgia for her life in the
USA. As I started my school at EAB JM, she met many other English speaking moms
and started beautiful friendships. Many of you here today in this church and
have always been by her side. Friendships as solid as rocks, a treasure for
her, as strong as family.
My parents gave me so much during those years of
childhood : a rich bicultural education, the best of international schools,
skiing in the best Alp resorts, tennis in the best club, everything was the
best. Though they had only one salary and we lived in a small one-bedroom flat.
It was all for me, my mother literally lived for and through me. We traveled a
lot, she gave me the love of nature, Fontainebleau, wild camping, and her love
for extensive gardening on her balcony.
When I left Paris to study at HEI in Lille, my
departure was harsh for them, especially for her. Well at the age of 50 she
decided to teach again, she took a course to pass a French degree and was
immediately employed by the CCI as an English teacher. What courage at the age
of 50 !
Years passed by, my marriage, and most of all her 3
beautiful grandchildren Nishal, Scarlett and Gabriel. I am sure you kids will
forever remember her crazy cookies, your holidays in the country house in Ury,
the picnics in the camping car and so much more. Olivier and I are so grateful
that our 3 children had such perfect and loving 4 grand parents : Papou, Mamie,
Grand-pere and Lala and also Lucile, Patricia, Didier and so many more. We were
all family and my mother loved you all so much.
My mother was also so mindful with all the other residents
of his home, and despite her pain she would smile to all and have kind words. A
great lesson of life that I tried to apply when she was her turn to be in a
home.
As a conclusion, I am pretty sure that I will never stop
learning from her. She will stay alive in me, and I hope to share it all with
my children and with all those who are dear to me.
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